You thought by the golden age of 30 all your shit would magically be put together. Now you're 30 and broke, career hoping, raising a kid or trying to plan for one, single or settled… Grass isn’t always greener and you’re damn sure not wiser with age! Whelp I’m here to tell you just because you’re 30 and bare don’t let the judgment sink in! Revise that vision board and grab the highlighters for your planner the journey has just begun!
My homegirl called me last week, to inform me that her man cheated on her. She doesn’t plan on leaving him and that’s her decision, that I respect. We all have done it before, you know took someone back, not just for cheating but anything that may be able to bruise but not break your trust. She then asked me, What did I do wrong and what didn’t I do?
First thing I told her, ‘Sis, it’s never your fault that he decided to cheat’!
I’m sure you could write a 3 page list or a fucking book about what you brought to the relationship and your best qualities. No matter how much you change and try to compete with other women. It doesn’t change the fact that he cheated.
There are so many other reasons for a man to cheat. List them, write your name last, laugh then scratch it out with a Big Phat Black Sharpie!
He could be cheating because;
His ass is insecure
His mama ain’t raise him right
Anything that has nothing to do with YOU!
It could be something that he is dealing with personally.Men are less vocal about feeling insecure and may use sex as a ego booster. This list could go on forever but , if you don’t want to be here,leave. Don’t embarrass me.
I don’t usually speak on celebrity news. But I’m sure Cardi B was just tired of being embarrassed. Like, Do you see me, I’m bad af and you still want to go fishing! Cardi Boo, it ain’t you sis ,it’s HIM! You done right, leave that ass and prosper. He is just using manipulation tactics to make her feel it’s her fault. With the public performances of the, I’m sorry and I know I done fucked it up.
These are not excuses at all. These are possible reasons he cheated on you. If you reread them guess what’s missing? You! I didn’t mention one thing that you did wrong.
Now, if your man communicated his needs and wants and you still didn’t even try. Still not enough to cheat on you. If he wants something that you’re not giving, it’s called breaking up, If I don’t make you happy , Leave.
I’m not saying for good ,maybe you need a break. But cheating on me ain’t going to solve our problems or yours. A one night stand or that you fucked a chick a few times, I maybe able to forgive. But when you have a whole new relationship, Baby, you can stay right there. It’s levels to cheating and we all have our breaking point. That’s just mine that I mention, it may not be yours.
Back to my main point! You are never the reason someone cheats.Don’t question yourself sis. Love you no matter what. Shit, this break up may be the thing you needed to realize that you can level up, mostly in the relationship department.
We live and we learn, some relationships we were in to gain something but never lose self- confidence. You are enough and it’s not your fault.
THIS WAS HIS CHOICE, AND HE HOLDS ALL THE RESPONSIBILITY.