Complications with dating a Southern Man!


In the city you knew where to go to meet all the hotties. You knew to put on your best ‘ get em girl” outfit when heading to a certain area.

Now, that I have relocated to the South, its not that easy. If you’re looking for a good man, he is either at work or home. They work all day ,may hit the gym then home. How am I going to find Mr. Right if he is always busy or sleep?

I decided It’s 2018 so why not just download a few dating apps. My first question to them is always, Why are you on this site? I’m searching for answers like, I work too much so this is my only form of communication or I’m a homebody. With answers like that I feel a little more comfortable than usual. Maybe it’s a lie or a setup but same shit goes down at your local bar!

You start to go on different dates, learn the environment, bars, restaurants, etc.Let me be the first to tell you dating Southern men so far has been very different.

Let me break it down for you. I may not be able to hit all areas but I’m going to cover the ones I have dated so far:

Disclaimer… This post isn’t factual It’s hella opinionated. Just MY opinions about who I have interacted with so far!

A significant number of Southern men are very Controlling! Any man that I have dated here for more than 5 days,speaks in a controlling tone.. Telling me what I should and shouldn’t do. Or informing me over and over the things they don’t like or tolerate. I mean its very sexy in the bedroom but I’m a city girl. We are submissive when we need to be however, you’re not about to start getting us to ask for permission or falling in line. We city girls will question everything and utilize our 1st amendment. It’s not even that they want to control us it’s less about what they say and more about how they say it!. Like you’re my man not my Daddy (Unless used as a term of endearment).

So , you wait until the 5th date to inform me that you have a live in Girlfriend. Oh and y’all have little ones together as well…….. Silly me I just thought you were a busy working single father. I actually thought that was cute. Deep sigh…., I found out that a lot of Southerners know about this non- voluntary shared relationship. Now, I’m vibing with you and maybe gave you a piece of me. Some get manipulated into staying around , paid/ token cared of or stuck. But just know it’s a known thing in the South. Ladies share a man!

Then, you have the Borderline Abusers. He will charm you, treat you like a queen and be very attentive to your needs. It’s kind of scary, like this is way too good to be true. You make him mad one day,over something simple then you’ll see his horns with smoke appear. Your eyes become very wide from shock. But, 10 minutes later he is smiling and lovable. This is a risky chance you may have to take. He could just have anger issues. You just have to wait it out. One hit then run… lol

You have the ones who weren’t born in the South but was raised here. Wake up call you are not from NYC if you came here as a child and your now 32. Baby all you know is the South. Walks like a Southerner, talks like a Southerner… Yous a Southerner. So, stop wearing baggy jeans, tims and a Yankees hat. Trade that hat in for the University team of your choice! Goooo Duke!

Don’t get me wrong, I feel that there is a lot of potential here in the South. They have their personality issues but the standards are on point. Most men here have good paying careers or own their own company , a house, Trucks (they all drive pickup trucks) and care for their children. We just have to work on the other bullshit you trying to bring to the table. Most think they are entitled and it’s a privilege to date them due to their income. You may get a pass for somethings but, I’m not one to settle being your girlfriend number 2, your daughter/ property or punching bag.

Its feels as though Southerners tend to have more baggage than others. Just prepare yourself ladies! The grass ain’t always greener, stop believing all Southern men are good candidates to be Husbands and real men are down South.

I’m talking shit because soon as I find the one ,you’re going to see a blog about my new found love!

I’ll keep you posted!

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6 thoughts on “Complications with dating a Southern Man!

  1. As a person who was born and raised in Philly, moved to SC for 7 years and moved back to Philly, you hit the nail on the head especially about the control. Its cute at first like “Oh he’s just particular” but then you do or say something they dont like and its WWIII. Conversations about opposing views can be seen as being “difficult” or “too opinionated”. Ugh, its irritating. You can be a strong man and the head of your family without being a dictator. Smh and don’t get me started on the sharing of men. Giiiirrrllllllll!! They will fight you knowing Reggie going to be at your house nextweek anyway. I can’t! Enjoyed reading this post. Keep searching for him bc hes looking for you too. Yall just haven’t crossed paths yet. I’ll stay tuned.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Very interesting to say the least. But I enjoyed the read. Sad to hear that the myth about southern men is false though. What is the reason to share men?! Why is is so prevelant in the south?! I would be interested to know that.


  3. Wow. Great read. I was also told wonderful things about the benefits of dating southern men. I guess men are men. Love will eventually find us. Love your work and love you Esh!!!


  4. Same up here everybody got somebody somewhere I just want one


  5. Go Duke!

    You may need to holla at one us /G\ men.


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