“Ready Woman; Pt.2”

Closure!

I’m so over people telling me that I don’t need closure. That I should just move on. Like I don’t need his validation or my understanding as to why? Yes, I want to fucking know why, you were so passionate with me, having long conversations and became so comfortable. Then, It’s over, No Dear John letter,Not a “it’s me not you speech”..Nothing.

So, I should just sit here and guess? Make a thousand different scenarios in my mind. Question myself worth, or if it was someone else. Maybe you didn’t get over your last relationship and you’re still healing from it. But, Why must I do this to myself? Become wrapped up in the what if, how come and was it me…

Why does it feel like you really never get a straight answer from men, when breaking up? It’s like, okay its over ,I get that part, but what about the why? Do I not deserve to know why this didn’t workout? You see there’s so many questions in the post. Maybe because I’m still lost. You can’t come to me as a man and express your reasoning or am I just not worth it.

So, anywho I tired to reach out to him. He never responded so I deleted his number and called myself moving on. Days later I get a text that he needs to talk to me. Of course I texted back “ who this”. Because, I seriously didn’t have his number stored. Like who remembers numbers by heart these days. He replied “nevermind”. I explained myself and called him but, no reply. I reached out to him a few more times with no reply. It’s wasn’t the fact that I wanted him back. I really wanted to know why? But, I guess I will never get the answer and have to make my own closure and move on. Every situation molds you. Here’s to another piece of my heart missing and lost.

I have a sign that I made. It states that if you’re here to hurt me please be gentle and leave with a love letter and a forehead kiss. Sincerely, A woman who never gets answers.

“Vulnerability isn’t the opposite of strength. It’s a necessary part. You have to force yourselves to open up, to expose ourselves, to offer everything we have and just pray that it’s good enough. Otherwise, we’ll never succeed.”

-Meredith

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4 thoughts on ““Ready Woman; Pt.2”

  1. This is my first time on here! You are a natural at this! Love this conversation about closure. I see there being issue with men in closure even in disagreements. It’s very frustrating because then it leaves your emotions open and bare with but no conclusion. You continue dwelling on it and they have moved on (but not really because then the issue or disagreement arises again).

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Great post. Vulnerable with men is very difficult. I can just tell you from my personal experience that being vulnerable as a man is a very difficult thing. Because of that I have destroyed many relationships, walked out on most, and never looked back. This may be due to how I was raised and the relationship I had with my mother. But due to having a daughter I had to really look back and dig deep within myself to be vulnerable to her, to be able to show her what true love is, what sharing emotions are, how someone who loves you should treat and respect you. Being vulnerable is a very difficult thing.

    But all in all this is why I fucks with you. You keep it a bean and exposes feelings that most wouldn’t. Great post.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Girl, this could be a book. I truly enjoyed reading your blogs and I can relate. You are expressing yourself in an admirable manner. Love ya Esh. Get ya closure, if it’s what you need to move on.

    Like

  4. I believe both men and women engage in this behavior but it seems as if this is more of a common trait from us men. Closure has always been something that I’ve heard women speak of more than men (maybe because men are usually the ones leaving) but I was told that even if someone gives you an explanation…it may not even make sense or bring you closure. The older we get the more I see that we cannot solely leave the fate of our hearts and minds in the hands of a “stranger”. I feel for you or anyone that has gone through this, I myself have been both a victim and a perpetrator. In my personal opinion, you should not look for closure from someone else. That should always come from within. Love E!

    Like

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