I’m so over people telling me that I don’t need closure. That I should just move on. Like I don’t need his validation or my understanding as to why? Yes, I want to fucking know why, you were so passionate with me, having long conversations and became so comfortable. Then, It’s over, No Dear John letter,Not a “it’s me not you speech”..Nothing.
So, I should just sit here and guess? Make a thousand different scenarios in my mind. Question myself worth, or if it was someone else. Maybe you didn’t get over your last relationship and you’re still healing from it. But, Why must I do this to myself? Become wrapped up in the what if, how come and was it me…
Why does it feel like you really never get a straight answer from men, when breaking up? It’s like, okay its over ,I get that part, but what about the why? Do I not deserve to know why this didn’t workout? You see there’s so many questions in the post. Maybe because I’m still lost. You can’t come to me as a man and express your reasoning or am I just not worth it.
So, anywho I tired to reach out to him. He never responded so I deleted his number and called myself moving on. Days later I get a text that he needs to talk to me. Of course I texted back “ who this”. Because, I seriously didn’t have his number stored. Like who remembers numbers by heart these days. He replied “nevermind”. I explained myself and called him but, no reply. I reached out to him a few more times with no reply. It’s wasn’t the fact that I wanted him back. I really wanted to know why? But, I guess I will never get the answer and have to make my own closure and move on. Every situation molds you. Here’s to another piece of my heart missing and lost.
I have a sign that I made. It states that if you’re here to hurt me please be gentle and leave with a love letter and a forehead kiss. Sincerely, A woman who never gets answers.
“Vulnerability isn’t the opposite of strength. It’s a necessary part. You have to force yourselves to open up, to expose ourselves, to offer everything we have and just pray that it’s good enough. Otherwise, we’ll never succeed.”