“Ready Woman”

It’s a rainy evening,I have my candles lit and my Merlot chilled. I’m ready!

My emotions got me ready for a new blog post. I been going through some shit lately that I feel I need to share and get off my chest. Guess what I’m not the only one going through emotional issues. So many of us are experiencing relationship obstacles, but we hold it inside. Welp that’s why you read my shit, You know I’m the one that brings the light where it’s dark. I say what you’re thinking or what many don’t have the balls nor heart to say. Okay let me just get into the damn post lol.

I think I broke my own heart once again right before I allowed him to do so. I left that relationship before it got rocky, I just felt like I was dodging yet another bullet. You know when you see all the red flags but continue to pursue that relationship, then you get so deep into it that it’s too hard to dig yourself out. Well, that’s what I think I was trying to do. Get out!

But did I make the right decisions?!?! am I now too far gone to take a risk? Because every relationship comes with the risk of yet another broken heart or Hey it might just workout!

I recently moved to another state and if you’re a true follower you already know this. I heard that I will feel alone for a period of time. So, I thought I prepared myself for that. But who can really prepare themselves for such a feeling. Long and behold I found someone. He was from my home town,that I left, so that was a huge plus. We started off talking on the phone daily. I think that’s the best way to get to know a person. Long conversation are so necessary and needs to make a comeback. Okay, to make a long story short we started dating. After we had our first sexual experience. I decided to rush things and make it exclusive. I don’t know what I was thinking but hey I’m 32 years old and I’m so fucking over dating and ready for a relationship. He said he was ready as well but you know some men they will agree to everything. But let’s back up. I asked him if he was ready for a relationship because I know he just moved here and probably still working on getting himself together. Well like a man, he said he was okay with dating while getting himself together.

Here’s my opinion. If a man isn’t fully happy with himself meaning financially stable he isn’t ready to take on a woman. I know he would love to, but they are just better at working on themselves alone. Don’t get me wrong there’s nothing wrong with being there for a man but there’s levels. If he is at the level where he can’t do the things he wants for you, leave! give that man some space. When a man isn’t happy with the way his life is going, he isn’t going to be happy with you. I say wait around for him but not forever. Give him a time frame.If things don’t workout baby girl just move on.

At what point do a man find balance in a relationship while dealing with situations before the situation ruin the relationship? (I.e., Finances, emotions, co-parenting, etc..)

I feel like in our early 30s most women have been through, break ups, fuck ups and mess ups and are fed up. So we are what I call “Ready Women”. We are ready to settle down, have children, own a home etc. but most men in their early 30s are just trying to get their shit in order. So, how fucking compatible is that?

I think maybe I fucked up. Maybe I ran away too soon or hey maybe I did dodge that bullet. My fear was that he wasn’t ready but he was holding on because he knew how good of a woman I could be for him in the future. But while he was holding on I was hurting. I wasn’t getting the attention and time I wanted. He asked me to be patient many times. I just seen it as all I wanted was time , I wasn’t asking for much. So, I texted him how I felt and blocked him.

I thought that was supposed to make me feel better…So Why am I 💔?

To be continued….

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20 thoughts on ““Ready Woman”

  1. I don’t get why Females go through all of those emotions to end a relationship before it even starts. Most men can multi-task in terms of building both a relationship and career. I just believe most women believe that if they ready then the man they choose has to be ready too. Sometimes we let our selfish ways (mentally) run the course before we let our hearts start. Sometimes we have to let life happen and not be so in control of it.

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    1. I agree with letting life happen.

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    2. You make a food point. But its trial and error. I been there too many times. I’ve been patient and waited it out. What happens if he never gets tot he point of satisfaction? And Now he leaves me because he isn’t happy with himself. What happened to reading red flags instead of ignoring them and now your in to deep? I’m coming from experience. Not letting my past hold me back but at the sametime my heart cant take anymore risk. Risk in a sense of I know the signs are pointing left but I go right. Right into some bull shit. There are men out there that can manage their relationships and careers. And I believe you can see that within the first 3 months of dating. If you can’t call or hit me up a days theb baby boy you can balance ✌

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  2. Well I completely understand where you are coming from. However I do not think you guys should stop communicating. Are you capable of being a friend and see where things go from there? Having a friendship foundation is very important.

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    1. My feelings won’t change so a friendship wouldnt work for me. I don’t do friends with benefits and I know Imma want them

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  3. I am also going through a similar situation. We have been dating (not in a relationship) for 6 months now and he has admitted to wanting to take things further and be in a relationship however he is not happy where he is financially and says that he doesn’t feel like he can provide me with everything he would want to in a relationship. I don’t think I am 100% ready to be in a relationship as well but we decided to still date build a friendship foundation and work on our own lives separately until we agree we both are ready to take the next step.

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    1. Well, That’s a mature plan lol. I dumbass didn’t think of this one. Maybe because I require too much attention ugh. I’m a Tarus with ADHD 😂.

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  4. I feel we all know what we’re capa of dealing with and handling. With that being said…..I think you made the right decision by ending a situation that doesn’t make you happy! Yet, I will say that I don’t think it’s fair that you spoke your piece and blocked him before allowing him to respond

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    1. Wasn’t the first time I told him what I needed. I believe in communication. But I don’t believe in repeating myself over and over again. The last time didn’t need a response

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  5. Hi! Just stopping by and whew chile….. the IRONY. I know for a fact that I’m a Ready Woman. I’m 31 achieved most of what I thought I wanted (Masters, great job, published two books, etc). But I’m Alone. And I didn’t really feel bad about it until my brother got killed this May and I didn’t have the partner I wanted to hold me and cry into . Everything changed that night. I vowed that I would marry and start a family. BUT it cannot be rushed. No good thing can. When we examine our lives we have to ask ourselves are we as ready as we think to be in a relationship? And the truth may be staring us firmly in out face. You see, what if he had it all going on and then lost his job or had to take work not close to home. Is your answer, leave him? Block him? There are skills that we need to be developed in order to be successful in a long term relationship over YEARS. I think a bit of it is impatience due to all you’ve experienced and a bit of it is him needing to learn your love language which is quality time. Younger men need more hand holding in order to navigate a relationship and it’s difficult too if you’re a woman whose ahead of her time. Perhaps dating older could work as well because meeting an already stable man can cut out some of the riff raff (I hope).

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  6. I think when the right relationship comes along you will know and being patient is ok. no one wants to be hurt man or women, we are walking around with history. It’s up to us on how we let our past affect our future. You can always change your mind, Mr. Right will understand.

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  7. Putting your feelings first is always what’s important! We will always live life with the should haves, could haves & would haves! That’s the mistery of life! Put him in the friend zone & continue to date! Hey it may just help him to see things from your end or you may just find exactly who & what your looking for! 😏 & if change is what your looking for then ditch that “Philly nigga(Same guy, different state)” & get you a country boy! lol he may be exactly what you been itching for! 😊

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    1. Its gona take a lot of adjustments to get use to Country men. They ain’t as we see on TV lol. The soooo different no swag at all lol. But im Optimistic!!!

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  8. I think both men and women are going through what you talked about on this post.

    I think women sometimes like the idea of being in a relationship before the fall for the actual person. Starting a new relationship should be a mutal feeling between both parties. It’s not going to work if one person is rushing or pressing the issue.

    I know there’s a lot of women once the get a certain age wants to have that family and stability, but you can’t be so desperate for love that your willing to rush someone who’s not ready.
    If a guy tells you to be patient, just be patient.

    As for men, most of us are not comfortable starting a new relationship without being financially stable.
    Sometimes guys will keep a woman around until he decides where he wants to be. Men want women that’s going to make life easier not cause more stress; That’s one reason a man will date and not commit.

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    1. You proved my point lol! And did you just call me desperate lol. No rush but who put this time frame on relationships? Please give my the handbook I need to know the steps…. Whatever happened to love at first site. Arranged marriages etc. Love is love there are no rules to how you feel. Just thought we were on the same page and we weren’t. I want what I want its not always what the man wants. Why do we have to always wait on yall???

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  9. You have to trust your inner voice. If something doesn’t feel right, nine times out of ten, something is wrong. You have the right to be happy. We all ask for things such as “time & attention”. That may be something small that someone should be able to do. I don’t have much time and I am a very busy man, and I’m order for a woman to date me she will have to accept that. We can’t lower our standards just because we get lonely or we think it’s time for a relationship because you’ve been single for too long. Being happy is the key so why not wait for it? If you left a man it was for a reason, don’t question it, leave it in the past, and don’t allow the next person to do what the last person did. Your a great woman! Take your time and wait for your happiness to come. It will come when you least expect it.

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  10. What an awesome post!! I think many of us battle with this especially women who are established (good job, education, owner of home etc.) It can be easy to settle when you just tired of dating. I have had my fair shares of issues within relationships so this couldn’t have hot home more. Moral of the story is do what makes you happy life is too short!!

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  11. I am heads over heels in love with a 42 yr old man that clearly is not ready for a relationship and will never be. It’s been 6 years of confusion and just plain hot mess. I wish men would just be upfront and say, I’m not ready. I know in my situation he’s not going to cut it off and it has to be me but I’m afraid bc he’s all I’ve known since I turned 30.

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  12. This was a good post. I enjoyed reading it girlfriend. Many things in it I could relate to, and currently going though. One thing I will bring attention to is don’t allow what you’ve experience/been through be in the way of your happiness. Not saying in this situation is, but sometimes as women we get a slight feel of what has happened in pass relationships with our current one, and automatically want to call it quits, which is natural because we don’t want to get hurt. Every man is different which means different outcomes. I will say just take your time, be patient, have fun and be open to whatever comes in front of you 🤗

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