It’s a rainy evening,I have my candles lit and my Merlot chilled. I’m ready!
My emotions got me ready for a new blog post. I been going through some shit lately that I feel I need to share and get off my chest. Guess what I’m not the only one going through emotional issues. So many of us are experiencing relationship obstacles, but we hold it inside. Welp that’s why you read my shit, You know I’m the one that brings the light where it’s dark. I say what you’re thinking or what many don’t have the balls nor heart to say. Okay let me just get into the damn post lol.
I think I broke my own heart once again right before I allowed him to do so. I left that relationship before it got rocky, I just felt like I was dodging yet another bullet. You know when you see all the red flags but continue to pursue that relationship, then you get so deep into it that it’s too hard to dig yourself out. Well, that’s what I think I was trying to do. Get out!
But did I make the right decisions?!?! am I now too far gone to take a risk? Because every relationship comes with the risk of yet another broken heart or Hey it might just workout!
I recently moved to another state and if you’re a true follower you already know this. I heard that I will feel alone for a period of time. So, I thought I prepared myself for that. But who can really prepare themselves for such a feeling. Long and behold I found someone. He was from my home town,that I left, so that was a huge plus. We started off talking on the phone daily. I think that’s the best way to get to know a person. Long conversation are so necessary and needs to make a comeback. Okay, to make a long story short we started dating. After we had our first sexual experience. I decided to rush things and make it exclusive. I don’t know what I was thinking but hey I’m 32 years old and I’m so fucking over dating and ready for a relationship. He said he was ready as well but you know some men they will agree to everything. But let’s back up. I asked him if he was ready for a relationship because I know he just moved here and probably still working on getting himself together. Well like a man, he said he was okay with dating while getting himself together.
Here’s my opinion. If a man isn’t fully happy with himself meaning financially stable he isn’t ready to take on a woman. I know he would love to, but they are just better at working on themselves alone. Don’t get me wrong there’s nothing wrong with being there for a man but there’s levels. If he is at the level where he can’t do the things he wants for you, leave! give that man some space. When a man isn’t happy with the way his life is going, he isn’t going to be happy with you. I say wait around for him but not forever. Give him a time frame.If things don’t workout baby girl just move on.
At what point do a man find balance in a relationship while dealing with situations before the situation ruin the relationship? (I.e., Finances, emotions, co-parenting, etc..)
I feel like in our early 30s most women have been through, break ups, fuck ups and mess ups and are fed up. So we are what I call “Ready Women”. We are ready to settle down, have children, own a home etc. but most men in their early 30s are just trying to get their shit in order. So, how fucking compatible is that?
I think maybe I fucked up. Maybe I ran away too soon or hey maybe I did dodge that bullet. My fear was that he wasn’t ready but he was holding on because he knew how good of a woman I could be for him in the future. But while he was holding on I was hurting. I wasn’t getting the attention and time I wanted. He asked me to be patient many times. I just seen it as all I wanted was time , I wasn’t asking for much. So, I texted him how I felt and blocked him.
I thought that was supposed to make me feel better…So Why am I 💔?