Every year I decide to take a much needed social media cleanse. I think we all need that break from looking at our phones religiously. I always believed that the shit fucks with my subconscious and daily behaviours. You can disagree if you want but hey some of us just like to lie to ourselves. We’re not always conscious of it, but we are constantly comparing ourselves to other people. You must remember people and yourself as well only put on social media what you want people to know. So, this month has been great and I actually enjoyed moments that i didn’t feel the need to share or capture.
In the beginning it’s hard because after deleting all social apps from my phone, I caught myself still looking at my screen every second of the day. I started to scroll at shit that wasn’t there lol. I have never checked my email or looked at my photo albums so much in my life. After a few days, I stop feeling the need to have my phone in my hand all day. My phone like, never died. See those apps be killing my phone’s life.
I started to have more phone conversations with family and friends. Because when I was on social media I felt that everyone watched my insta-stories, snapchat and Facebook Timeline. So why would I need to update them personally!
I couldn’t have a moment not shared with the world. I felt that everyone needed to know and see that my life is awesome as well. But in all reality my life was pretty simple and awesome. I haven’t had the time to stop looking at other people lives and see how blessed I was. I know as a blogger its difficult because you need people to be apart of your experience someway. Like, how can I keep my followers if my life it’s awesome all the time. I became so excited about people inboxing, texting and calling me about how my life experiences helped them. So, I felt the need to keep posting because in my mind the people need to see this. But, I still needed my social media cleanse. I needed that break, I felt the addiction and I didn’t like the feeling. I felt that I was living for others and not myself. I was trying to keep up with the cool parties, drinking and spending like there’s no tomorrow.
Since social media became popular and addictive in my mid 20s. I was so concerned about how others seen me or what others were doing with their lives. I compared myself daily and at first I didn’t even realize it. I was wondering how people could afford such luxury in their lives. I started questioning what I was doing wrong and why wasn’t I living like that. Yea, we all know people fake shit on social media but we aren’t thinking about that part. I even questioned how I looked and shit I look good lol. I wanted a different body and lifestyle. But, funny thing I enjoy and appreciate what God has blessed me with. So why am I questioning it? Shit, why do I feel the need to now have this perfect life?