Therapy

Happy New Year everyone! Hope you enjoyed your New Year , because so far I have!  I have been too busy with Kwanzaa, New Year’s Eve and being in my feelings, that I haven’t wrote in like two weeks. I actually had people inbox me , that their waiting for my next post.(Okay, maybe just one person, but who’s counting).Okay now to address the title, THERAPY….

So like, I stated in my last post, I am going to start therapy. With so many new changes in my life, dealing with my emotions , past experiences and work ( vicarious trauma) .It just felt like it was time for me to seek a professional. So, I called a friend and she recommended a good therapist. I haven’t seen a therapist in years , plus I have way more complexed issues now then I had back in during my youth.

Taboo

Once I made the appointment I became nervous and excited at the sametime. Most people wouldn’t share that they’re going to therapy, in the Black/Urban community. Due to so many stigmas associated with going to seek professional help. I’m sure this mindset could came from the slave mentality  because back then showing weakness, such as mental illness, meant you were worthless.

 Once you enter certain jobs that may require seeking professional help ( i.e.,  social work) experience/educate yourself on different things, you tend to see things differently. With my circle of friends I can freely talk about my experiences that I have during my sessions. They can identify with what I’m speaking of because they are also seeing a therapist. Growing up was different, people around you would think something was wrong with you if you were seeing a therapist without trying to get a check.Great thing was, my therapist was from that community , so I felt like she understood my experience on a more personal level.

It’s not what you see on TV.

Therapy to some is walking into a small room , laying on the couch, telling this person with glasses and a notepad in their hand, all your personal business. They never respond or give you advice they just allow you to talk,then send you home with homework. Well I’m here to tell you that’s not what it’s like. My therapist was pretty cool (okay, fuck it she was hella dope) We talked about school, family , social life, hoe phase, you know the fun shit. She started off with asking me simple questions about myself. I guess that’s intake but it didn’t feel like a questionnaire. She also told me stuff about herself. It felt like talking to a close girl friend that I just met. I can’t wait until my next session. It felt so good to let everything out knowing that she cannot tell a soul. I think I found a new best friend with no attachment / no real title. It’s a wonderful experience that I can’t wait to experience over and over again.

Hopefully one day you’ll find some crazy lady who managed to get a license to perfectly suit you! 😂😀( Me, duh) okay back to regular programming….

Priorities in order

During our session, I felt comfortable sharing as many problems as I could fit into an one hour session. Crazy thing is, I talked about everything but one of the problems that I thought was my main problem. I talked about work growth, anxiety, motherhood, food… and right before it was time to leave , I brought up that “I felt like a relationship is the missing piece to my complete happinesses and I need to move on from my past relationship”. My therapist looked at me and said “ you waited until time was up to say that”. I told her we’ll discuss it during one of these session and I felt that …Maybe this isn’t  the most important thing that needs to be addressed in my life right now.

P.S

He never responded to the letter. Sometimes saying nothing says a lot more.

Oh and Fuck him and his bald headed little girlfriend. No LOL at the end #BOOM.

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8 thoughts on “Therapy

  1. It’s great that you went to therapy. Some people need it and don’t know it. Or they’re afraid to seek help because of how people will judge them. It’s great that your talking to someone about what’s going on with you. Sometimes we need to hear things from a professional point of view. Great move and I hope it helps you figure out of if the things your searching for.

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  2. Thanks for bringing to light the mental process that a person can go through before deciding to attend therapy. Stigma, weakness and historical implications are still relevant. I hope others read this and reconsider their view of a stereotypical therapist and know that we are regular people too 🤗. Good luck on your journey!

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  3. Proud of you Esh. This is a major move and is inspiring people like myself to seek therapy as well. I’m not there yet though:) and yes to your comments about the stigmas. And yes to being fully aware of yourself and places you need to work on. Keep doing ya thing girl!!! And yes…. F him! Silence is your needed closure.

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  4. :happy crying reading this:

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    1. Let it out! And remember its okay to seek help!

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  5. I’ve gone to therapy off and on since 22 and I don’t think there anything wrong with it. One of the first things I learned in undergrad is self care is the best care. Being in the social service field, it’s needed! Plus sometimes it’s just helpful to have a neutral person to talk to

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  6. Therapy is so dope! I didn’t think I needed it “nothing was wrong with me”. But let me tell you, everything was wrong with me lol and I’m glad I went and that I still go. Glad u took that step to go it’s not bad at all 🙂

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  7. Great piece! Genuine. I need to take my ass back to get back to me!

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