Love don’t pay no bills. When you were younger it was all about falling madly in love. Don’t get me wrong we still want to fall in love. But, I need to ensure that security , stability, and building comes with this package. Good sex is only a great percentage of the relationship but not all of it. Too many of us are lowering our values, forgetting our worth and settling for a Friend with benefits. Is this what you really want or are you afraid of being alone?
At 25 years old there were many benefits in being friends with benefits. You had a mutual understanding that we are fucking, dating, having fun with no strings attached. The invisible exchange goes for this case as well. ( if, you don’t know what that is please go back and read my first blog). What’s better than having amazing passionate hot sex , without all the extra shit that comes with a relationship. (You know,compromising, accountability, being able to share, being patient, and all that fun mushy shit).
*Best time, after being at the club with ya girls, looking good, feeling great and get to hit up ya friend for them benefits. We all know how horny and freaky we become after a few drinks and feel ons at the club. Those were the good ole days.
At my beautiful age of 31, really what’s the benefit in friends with benefits. Some people maybe still cool with it at our age. But don’t be cool with it if you’re the type that post savage single shit at 5pm on Monday but Sunday night you lonely and hating being single. Why Play yourself. You know what it is that you want. Friends with benefits get you nowhere but with your feelings hurt. Most people are more vulnerable at this age when it comes to being single.
I never want to sound judgmental or one sided on any of my post. So remember this is mostly coming from my experiences or people that I came in contact with experiences. .. okay off the explaining shit back to the post…
Odds, are your friends with benefits from your 20s are taken. I keep up on my old flings from time to time and funny thing is most of them are in a serious relationship, engaged, married or worked it out with their baby moma. This doesn’t imply that I am the only single person left. This simple means we weren’t meant to be, they found Mrs.Right or settle down before I have.
At this age you want more from sex. I want real passion, that after you done you just wanna hold onto him forever or bite his ass. Nothing like making love, hardcore sex is fun but Baby love making is where it’s at. Plus, I’m trying to find my future baby’s daddy.
How do you find the time to have a friend with benefits? At this age I’m more tired than I have ever been. I don’t have time to entertain anyone that doesn’t have future plans to be with me. In your 30s within the first three dates, you’re asking question to see if y’all have the same interest.Do you want children? What are your career goals? What are you looking for, something long term or just want to date. I mean shit Online dating sites ask these questions before you waste someone’s time. We know that there are men out here that will tell you what they “think” you want to hear. I always say, ‘Just be upfront with what you want.’ It makes things so much easier. You never know I maybe down with the same thing you’re down for. Every female in their 30s aren’t looking for marriage. I mean most are but you never know what chapter she is in her hoebook. She may have just gotten out of some situation and just want to have sex with no attachments. But at least let it be my decision. Don’t’ make it for me by lying.
Sometime having benefits can ruining a good friendship. So think wisely before you start having sex with your homie. It’s hard to go back to a friendship once you add sex into the mix. It’s like we started off as friends, then lovers and now we don’t speak. Sometimes keeping the friendship is more important than added benefits that aren’t long term.
I had a hard time ended this post so with that being said …#FriendshipsMatter
Your opinion is well appreciated so please feel free to leave a comment!
Until Next Post….. PUnicorn-31